I don't remember the time but sometime in the evening hours after an all day labor, I had a crazy long contraction. The peak lasted for over 5 minutes. Literally. And it was bad. Suddenly we couldn't hear Kash's heartbeat. They adjusted all the monitors. They applied an internal monitor. They adjusted it. Put a new one in thinking the first was faulty. Still nothing. I was crying, begging for help.. for them to just get him out! Pam & Heather were praying. James was trying to comfort me and make sure the staff (several nurses came in) was on top of things. I don't know how long it lasted but it felt like an eternity that they were trying to get his heart beat back. They mashed, shook, poked and prodded at my abdomen... violently. Still nothing. They poked and prodded and mashed internally... the most pain and fear I have EVER felt. I was still begging them to get him out and don't let him die. Sorry. I know that is dramatic. But that's the way the story goes. I really thought that is what was happening. Finally.... finally we hear his heart beat again. Hallelujah! I was paranoid at this point. Constantly watching and listening to it. I was also in extreme pain and they wouldn't let me have an epidural for fear that it would cause his heart rate to dip. After an hour of observation they kicked the pitocin back on and let the contraction start slowly back up. After another hour I did get my epidural. It was great. Then his heart rate started dipping and staying down after the contractions. I quit dilating & he wasn't descending. After 17 hours of labor we went in for a c-section and this baby boy was definitely not going to come out any other way with his cord wrapped around his stomach twice, his neck, and both legs! No wonder he was having so much trouble. I remembered feeling him do a lot of flip flopping the couple of days leading up to the induction so I'm sure that's what he was doing! Little stinker! Anyway, he was beautiful! And chubby. :) 8lbs and 6 oz just like his youngest big brother. He looked great!
We moved into the recovery room where I got to nurse him for the first time. The little trouble maker decided to stop breathing... like completely. Turned blue. I was so out of it that it didn't register with me right away. Thank God for our nurse. She was so calm and asked if she could see him for a minute without alarming me at all. James was right on top of it though and followed her to the table where she resuscitated him. He had to go to the special care nursery for a while then but a few hours later rejoined me in our room. We got to bathe and dress him.. well, Aunt Pam and the nurse did while I watched and James slept. :) A little while later he started turning colors again and went back to the special care nursery. He remained there until he was transported to the NICU in another hospital.
Again with the scaring us! We prayed. Our family prayed. Our friends prayed. Our church prayed. Even our doctor prayed with us. I'm sure there were strangers praying for him too. It was torture. James was back and forth between the two of us. I was emotional. I wanted him in my arms, in the room with me at least in the same hospital so I could walk down the hall and see him. I finally got released, 1 day early, so I could go be with him.
After a week of care in the NICU and a good bill of health he was released and came home. What a joyous day! We never got a real diagnosis or found any big cause for his struggle during labor and recovery or for a couple of other minor problems he had that week.... the diagnosis was trauma. He just couldn't recover from all the trauma of his labor like he should have. Praise the Lord it was nothing lasting or more serious!!
Fast forward a year. Really, it has felt like fast forward... someone give me the remote so I can slow this show down!! He is a happy, healthy 1 year old. Soon to be toddler if he'll ever start taking steps. I'm not rushing him though. He is busy enough with crawling and once he starts walking, I know my cuddles will decrease in length and frequency.
Happy Birthday Kash!
*Photo by Heather Ramsey Photography